Surviving the last innings of bachelorhood

It’s summer time and seemingly the most active time of the year with every body from Soft drink manufacturers to cricket administrators (IPL) getting ready for the action to begin and to add to the heat, we have General Elections coming up followed by T 20 World Cup; I hope amidst the recession blues, this summer provides the platform for economic recovery so that market comes back on track and so does our increments J
I too have my task cut out this summer and that is to stay bachelor till the next one! However the attack promises me to keep me on the back foot as most of the factors are not favoring the stroke play and that brings me to the topic that keeps me busy all the time especially when I am at home on weekends
I must admit that I have become kind of an expert tackling the most complex question of my life these days and the credit goes to all my so called relatives who have now one point agenda in their life and that is to get me married! Well I don’t blame them as they all have reached there 60’s and more importantly they have got their children tie the knot so until they get to the point where they are changing nappies of their grand children or probably making them listen to the Ramayana they have pretty much nothing to do but to find the next target and become a little busy in their routine life, mind you finding a girl or a boy is much more than just fun for them as they get to do the whole lot of gossip and debates
No matter wherever I go, thanks again to my cousins both maternal paternal (they have made sure that I am the last man standing with all bachelors in my family are at least 20 years older than me), I get to face every body with one question in their eyes I have classified all such people in to various categories, read carefully as you never know you might just be the one fairing in one of those!

I. Right arm fast: It is hard to escape them, they don’t allow you to settle on the crease and their sole purpose is to send you back to the pavilion immediately as according to them my innings of bachelorhood is long due for retirement and since I am not in a mood to declare, their one and whole purpose of survival is to steal my freedom away, these are your very own close one’s and includes your parents and sisters or brothers. Their deliveries are unbelievably most of the time unplayable pitches on the off and if I make even a slight mistake rest assured that you will see the stumps uprooted for a picture perfect shot for a bowler. There have been a lot close LBW appeals so far however some factor or the other such as “height”, “color”, “kundli” etc have given me the benefit of doubt and luckily I have survived to face another one

II. Right arm medium: These are your close relatives like your masi, mami, bhua, chachi etc., the best part about them is that they can only bowl a limited number of overs depending upon when the fast bowlers decide to take rest and bring them on. They are not that ferocious in their approach and can only bowl with gentle pace which allows you to get your eye in and play shots accordingly but I must say few of their deliveries are very nagging as they will tempt you with half volleys and slow bouncers to which I generally play well by avoiding to have a go at them, Pretty safe but irritating as they don’t give too many runs away

III. Right arm slow orthodox: Under estimate them at your own risk, they look absolutely harmless and when you least expect, their deliveries turn from no where and you get in to the saving act, these are your very own close group of friends who most likely are in the same boat and experiencing similar tough batting conditions and hence they need a venting, they will slowly almost casually alarm your parents about a relationship which does not exist and while they laugh away on your condition, things turn from ugly to worse and suddenly the pressure to leave the crease becomes immense; Deliveries like ‘Aunty ab to is ki shaadi kara do, kitni ladkiyo ke saath aur ghoomega?’ are surely goanna put you on back foot


While I continue to survive the battle, the umpire (read God) seems to be in my favor and understands that my innings is far from over and I am quite hopeful that factors such as above will not withstand in my way to remain unbeaten till the appropriate time and than I shall declare the innings gracefully getting ready for the next one!